A day like any other
by pagman
Summary: It just another day at the lab. GSR plus one other secret surprise couple.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own CSI, that one show, or really anything mentioned in the story below.

Once upon a time there were some CSIs by the name of Grissom, Sara, Warrick, Catherine, Nick, and Greg. They were sitting around the table in the break room accompanied by a coroner called Doc Robbins, or just Doc, and a detective who went by the name Jim Brass. They were all talking about nothing in particular. Warrick couldn't help but notice that Nick kept staring at him and Sara noticed the same thing only Grissom kept looking at her (not Nick. That would just be scary). All of a sudden Ecklie walked into the room, his head held up high looking like he was trying to show something off.

"New pants Ecklie?" asked Catherine because she could tell that he was wearing new pants.

"Yeah, how did you guess?" he said and even though this was not what he wanted everyone to notice he was quite pleased that Catherine of all people had noticed he got new pants. It must mean that she truly loved him.

"Well, you've left the size sticker on them. Wow, that's a pretty big pair of pants to wear, are you sure that they fit you? I would never have picked you to wear pants that size," said Catherine.

"When one wears the right clothes it can take pounds off their overall look. I learnt that watching 'What Not To Wear'," replied Ecklie.

"Oh, oh, I know what's happened!" said Brass. "You've gotten contacts. You know, you look so different without you glasses I can't believe we didn't notice it before."

"I have never had glasses Jim and can say that I'm quite hurt that you would believe that I had glasses. Can you guys not tell what has happened?" Ecklie pointed to his head and hoped that some of the brightest and smartest CSIs in the country could at least figure out this rather simple puzzle.

Grissom now knew what had happened and said so himself. "You've gotten yourself a toupee Conrad. You can never really tell with the lights in the lab. Here I was thinking you were still bald. Glad you now realize that it isn't a bad thing to cover up your baldness with a hair piece. Who knows, it may become the look for next season."

"Gil, I did not get a toupee. I got myself a hair transplant. But yes, I still decided to cover up my baldness."

"It still looks fake from here," said Sara who was circling around the break room trying to figure out if it was indeed real hair.

"You Miss. Sidle are out of line. I would ask send you to my office so I could suspend you without pay for a week but Grissom would only get you out of it. Plus, I want to go admire myself in the mirror so I'm off for now. Toddles."

Ecklie walked down the corridor in the general direction of his office. Throughout the entire exchange Greg had been unusually quite. You see Ecklie had given him an idea (no it was not to get a hair transplant before you ask). It was an idea that he would keep to himself for a while until the moment was just right and then surprise everyone. At the same moment that Greg began pondering just exactly how he would go about implementing his plan Sofia walked in wearing a large orange hoodie that made her look fat.

"Hey guys. You'll never guess what I found. It's this orange hoodie, like that one guy on that one show always wears. It's a rather funny show and I suggest you watch it. Hey, someone kill me." Sofia said.

At the same moment that Sofia said that a crossbow appeared in Sara's hands. Not wanting to waste an opportunity to destroy the evil Spork she fired it. It pierced right through Sofia's heart, killing her. The death was quite painful.

"Oh my god, you killed Sofia! You bastard!" Was all Doc Robbins could say.

"What, like anyone is really going to miss her. Hey, isn't that what those guys say in that one show that Spork was talking about just before her death," Sara said

"Yeah, it only seemed appropriate at this moment. I'm sure no one is going to miss her. Hell, I'm going to be doing the autopsy so I'm going to say that it was a heart attack. No one will know." Doc Robbins replied.

"When we process the scene we just won't collect any evidence and no one is going to know the difference," said Sara catching on to what Doc Robbins was saying.

Grissom was overcome with admiration with Sara at this one moment for her skill at bring about the demise of the evil Spork. He now realized that he loved her more than ever but didn't exactly know what to do about it so he went to his office to figure out what he would do.

The departure of Grissom from the table meant that there interesting conversation about nothing came to an end. Warrick and Nick went to the locker room to get changed and go home for the day, Brass went out cause his phone just rang and everybody know you couldn't get reception in the lab. Sara went to process the scene at which Spork was killed and although knew she would find nothing, decided to make it look like she was doing something. Robbins went to do the autopsy but already knew cause of death so decided not even really to bother and like Sara, make it look like he was doing something. Catherine remained seated and began flipping through Maxim, although how it got to be on the table is a mystery to this day and Greg continued to stare off into space thinking of his rather grand plan and how and when he would put it into action.

"So Warrick, got any plans when you get home today?" asked Nick once they finally arrived in the locker room.

"No, not really. Thought I would try to overcome the urge to gamble as Tina has just been horribly killed in a car accident."

"Oh, hey man, I'm really sorry about Tina. I know you two were close. I was going to try and overcome my fear of all bugs. They honestly just get to me you know?"

"Nah, I never really liked Tina anyway. It was a marriage of convince more than anything else. You see Nicky my boy; it's you I really love."

"I love you too Warrick. Pin me down."

"Excuse me? I've just completely opened up about my true feelings about you and you want me to pin you down?" Warrick was in shock that Nick wanted him to do that.

"Well, it seemed to work for Grissom and Sara and as long as one of us doesn't ruin it by talking who knows where it will lead."

"Yeah, although I wasn't there to see Grissom pin Sara down I heard about it. How about I save the pinning you down for later and right now we go tell everyone our news?"

"Sounds good to me," said Nick and they walked out of the locker room holding hands and discussing what they would do next.

At the exact same moment that Nick and Warrick had just opened up to each other and shared their true feelings, Grissom was sitting in his office deciding how best to express his true feeling for Sara. Brass walked in and said, "Grissom, I've got two things to tell you. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Start with the good Jim, I know the bad news can wait."

"The good news I have is that there is a crime scene in the desert."

"That's good news how exactly?" Grissom asked. Sometimes Brass didn't really think out what he said.

"I'm getting to that. The victims appear to be George Bush and Osama Bin Laden. It appears that in the crossfire they killed all the neo-Nazis and child molesters. Now the US is run by Muppets. Kermit appears to be in charge but I hear that Miss. Piggy really wants that job. I also hear that the Muppets are really pushing for world peace. My contacts at CNN will keep me up to date with what will happen in that news story."

"When did you get contacts at CNN?" Grissom asked completely forgetting about the crime scene in the desert.

"I've known some of these people for ages. We go back along time. The bad news I have will come as a shock for you but I think you need to hear it. I got a call from Ellie yesterday and she got into Princeton. I'm moving back to Jersey so she can go."

"Wait a minute," Grissom said. "Ellie's your daughter right?"

"Yes."

"The last time we saw her I believe that she was a prostitute in Los Angeles."

"Look Gil, I know where you're going with this," said Brass.

"Let me finish Jim. I think you owe me at least that much. All I want to know is how did Ellie end up being accepted into Princeton? It's not like becoming the head of the crime lab. They don't let just anyone in."

"How the hell should I know Grissom? For all I know she slept with everyone she had to in order to get in. At least now she'll get an education and it will certainly be better than the one I got."

Grissom stared at Brass for a moment to collect his thoughts then said, "I've known you for a long time Jim, longer than either of us might like to admit. I'm going to miss you around here. Now that Spork has, as Al proved in record autopsy time, had a heart attack, the city is going to need two new detectives. I suppose you'll want to tell everyone you're leaving.

"Well actually," began Brass. "I was rather hoping you could do that for me. I've never been good at goodbyes and always end up crying like a baby. So do you mind covering it for me? Thanks. I'll send you an email sometime to let you know how we get on. Bye Grissom." With that Brass walked out the door and headed for the parking lot.


	2. Chapter 2

Grissom just sat in his chair and mulled over what had happened today. Ecklie got himself a hair transplant and in the process made himself look worse than when he was bald if that were even possible. Spork had, as Doc Robbins proved in record autopsy time, had a heart attack at such a young age and no one would miss her and now Brass was leaving to go back to Jersey so Ellie could get an education. He was just about to start thinking about what he was going to say to Sara to confess his undying love for her when he saw Nick and Warrick holding hands walking slowly down the corridor to the break room. Things couldn't get much crazier around the lab today he decided and followed them. He got to the break room and saw that Catherine was reading Maxim, Greg looked totally absorbed in doing whatever it was he was doing, Sara was making coffee, while Nick and Warrick stood in the center of the room. Grissom took a seat expecting to hear something of interest but before he could do that Spork walked back in as if nothing had happened. "I thought I killed you?" Sara said.

"Well you did but to make this story more interesting it's been decided that I come in every chapter only to die a painful death in this orange hoodie."

"Okay then," said Sara and once again took it upon herself to destroy the evil Spork. She calmly pulled her gun out of its holster and fired a shot at Spork's stomach as we all know that stomach wounds are quite painful. Spork once again died in slow agony never to be missed again.

"Now that Sara has killed the evil Spork we have an announcement to make so listen up. Today while Warrick and I were getting changed and I was admiring that six-pack he has we began talking. We came to the decision that we both love each other and are going to Canada to get married. By the way, everyone here is invited." Nick said.

Catherine looked up from the magazine she was reading to ask, "Warrick what about Tina? You married her over me and now you're marrying Nick. When will things ever go my way?"

"Tina died or something. I believe it was mentioned before but really don't care. All I really care about is my little Nicky… Catherine, I do have something to ask you though. I was wondering if you would let Nick and me to adopt Lindsey."

"Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey. The name isn't ringing any bells for me Warrick. Who is she?" Catherine asked.

"Lindsey, you know your daughter?" Warrick said now hoping that Catherine would say yes because at this point she was really starting to seem like an unfit parent.

"Oh," Catherine exclaimed, now realizing who Lindsey was. "Her. I knew her name started with L or maybe I thought it was S. Who knows really? I certainly don't. Of course you guys can adopt her. I'm sure she'll be thrilled. Just let me phone her and ask." Catherine pulled out her phone, punched in the number, and pressed SEND.

"Hey, Linda,"

"Lindsey!" Everyone except Greg shouted out. Greg still seemed to be off in his own little world.

"Sorry about that, my friends seem to be on something that makes them shout out weird things. How do you feel about letting Warrick and Nicky adopt you? You would have to live with them of course and I no longer would legally be your mom but the decision is yours. I want you to take you time in deciding, it's a pretty big decision for someone like you to make."

"Of course Mom. I would love to have two dads instead of one absent Mom. Wait till I tell my friends, they are going to be sooo jealous. Bye for now, talk to you later."

Catherine looked Nick and Warrick in the eyes and thought about how she would have paid to know what was going on in their minds. Nick was thinking about how good Warrick would look in a Speedo on their honeymoon in Mexico and Warrick was thinking the same thing. Nick was also thinking about on the second part of their honeymoon and wondering if he could convince Warrick to wear assless chaps because for a surprise they were going off to be cowboys for a week after a week in Mexico. Warrick didn't know so don't tell him. Nick was inspired after seeing Brokeback Mountain. As you can see they were actually very shallow people. "Lindsey would love to have you too has her Dads. I sure hope you can do a better job than I did." Warrick was so happy he cried and Nick was trying to be a man but it didn't work and he too cried like a little baby.

With that over and done with Grissom decided it was time to say what he had to say. He looked over at Sara meeting her eyes for just a second and thought how beautiful she was. She had now killed the evil Spork not once but twice. He thought of all the things he would like to do to her at that one moment in time but most of them were inappropriate for the lab environment. (Get your mind out of the gutters, he would have liked to have a picnic with her but unfortunately the lab was not a place to have a picnic). "Today has been an interesting day my friends. A lot has happened and now I have an announcement to make of my own."

"You're finally going to admit that you're in love with Sara and announce that we're going to have a double wedding in Canada," said Nick. Sara turned bright red at this comment and Grissom gave Nick one of his infamous looks.

"No. I was going to say that Brass told me that he is moving back to Jersey as Ellie got into Princeton."

"Now Ellie would be his prostitute daughter wouldn't it?" asked Sara.

"You know," said Grissom. "That is exactly what I said. The answer to that question is yes by the way."

"Great minds think alike as that old saying goes," said Sara, fully aware that it made her sound stupid.

"Indeed they do," said Grissom.

Greg now appeared to be out of his world and said, "Oh, look at Grissom and Sara, they're having a moment."

"Shut up Greg," said Sara and Grissom was provided with another opportunity to give his infamous look.

Greg continued as if Sara had never spoken. "Nick and Warrick, for your honeymoon you should go off and be gay cowboys. I only just got back from watching Brokeback Mountain and think it would be a good idea. I mean come on Nick your from Texas so it should be quite easy for you to set something up." Nick turned bright red from this statement, how could Greg know what he was planning. He figured it must be an eerie coincidence and left it at that.

"I have one more announcement," said Grissom. "Brass reported before he left that there is a crime scene in the desert. The victims appear to be George Bush and Osama Bin Laden. They had a gun battle and in the crossfire killed all the neo-Nazis and child molesters. As we all seem to be so busy I sent out our new intern Nancy McGrillows out as she seems eager to please. Look, here she comes now."

"Hello, Dr. Grissom. I finished up the crime scene and the bodies are with the coroner. Unfortunately Osama Bin Laden was taken by the CIA before I could photographs and get the body to the coroner and a wild dog ran off with the leg of George Bush. Now I'll just go and supervise the autopsy as you all seem busy and then I'll go get my results from Trace, Ballistics, DNA, QD, and wherever else I may have evidence in." Nancy McGrillows with this one speech had made an impression on them all. They all placed her for a workaholic who had no life.

Greg thought that this Nancy McGrillows was worse than Sara and Grissom in terms of having no life. At least Sara was completely in love with Grissom and Grissom had his love of bugs (and secret love of Sara although we all know just how secret it was).

Nancy went of skipping down the hall in the direction of the coroners but turned around and came skipping down the hall again. She looked at Grissom and Catherine and pointed at them. "I may be completely out of line here bit I think that you two would make a good couple. You should get together at some point in time in an environment that isn't the lab." Grissom and Catherine just looked at each other and smiled. If only young Nancy knew the truth.

"Thanks for the advice Nancy," said Catherine. "I'm sure we can think of something to do about 'this'." With those 16 words Catherine made Nancy the happiest women in the world. She skipped like she never skipped before down the hallway to visit the coroner.

Once she got there she began thinking that Doc Robbins was the strangest man alive. Not only did he make allusions to his life including various drug and sexual references he also seemed to be completely unaware of who lay before him on the table.

"I've done all I can with his body. The only thing left to do is remove the skull and get a look at his brain. David my saw please." David ran over quite excited to see what Doc Robbins would do. He actually realized who the deceased was, if only Doc Robbins could do the same.

"Thanks." He made the first incision right above a fancy medical word beyond your comprehension.

The blade of the sword didn't go through though. It got stuck. Doc Robbins removed the saw and tried again. He went towards the head like a mad man again but the blade got stuck. "This is one thick head," Doc Robbins said.

David snorted at the remark and gave Doc Robbins a smile, "You do know who this is sir don't you?" asked David.

"Should I?" Robbins asked.

"It's President George W. Bush. Do you not recognize him?"

"Well now you've said that David I do. It certainly explains a lot. Since we're out of places to put bodies just throw him in with any old thing. I'm getting quite good at lying on autopsies, I'm sure the bullet in his chest was COD so let's just leave it at that." David put the body away and Robbins washed up. This left Nancy McGrillows alone, completely forgotten about. She walked out humming a tune to herself. So far it had been a good day.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it took me sooooo long to update this. I shall try and do better next time. **

**-----**

Catherine left the break room in order to do something more interesting while Warrick and Nick went off to plan their wedding. That left Grissom, Sara, and Greg alone in the break room. . Greg saw that there was some unfinished business between Grissom and Sara and quickly made up an excuse to leave. He choose an old favorite.

"I think I smell something burning in the DNA Lab."

"Greg," said Sara.

"You don't work in DNA anymore," finished Grissom but Greg ran out before he could hear then end of what Grissom was saying.

"Look Sara there is something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. Even though Nancy McGrillows seems to think that Catherine and I would make a good couple I just think she is a misguided person with some crazy ideas. I think it's finally time I did something about this."

Sara was overjoyed at the fact that Grissom was going to express his true feeling for her. She could feel it in her bones. "Grissom…" Her phone rang. She couldn't believe it. Grissom couldn't believe it either. He was starting to think that he and Sara would never be able to get together. Sara left the break room because cell reception in the lab really was bad. Grissom walked back to his office to once again think of what to do about this. On the way he saw the evil Spork so he gave her the Vulcan death grip and killed her.

Grissom was making his way to his office when Catherine stopped him. "Gotta talk to you," she said and pushed him into his office. If Sara had seen this she would have been hurt and disappointed then gone and killed Catherine but as it was she was outside taking a call. However this was not the case for young Nancy McGrillows, she had seen this and thought that maybe her matchmaking skills were actually very good. Something happy that had happened after her first encounter with Doc Robbins.

"What do you want Catherine," said Grissom, he was actually rather mad at Catherine. Now was not the time to be talking to her about whatever it was she wanted, she probably wanted to yell at him for something he did with Sara (or what he didn't do with her).

"Sorry about pushing you roughly into your office like that it's just that I saw Nancy McGrillows out there and decided to give her some false hope."

"I don't care Catherine, what I want to know is why you're here."

"I'm getting to that. It goes back to giving Nancy McGrillows false hope. I think it would be a good idea if we make her think that we want to get together but when really we don't."

"Well it's a good idea in theory but I don't get why this a) couldn't wait for tomorrow and b) why we even want to do this. Nancy should be given respect just like any other person." Grissom wanted to be able to actually take the time to tell Catherine to shut up then yell at her some more but he was trying to think about what to say to Sara.

"We want to do this for something to do. Face it Grissom, this may be the second ranked crime lab in the country but we really do nothing, we solve a case about once a week. This is one boring lab. We've got you sitting around wondering what you want to do about 'this' and we've got Sara waiting for you. You two have so much sexual tension that we are in risk of another lab explosion if you don't do something about it soon."

"Well maybe I will go and do something about this,' he said and walked out of the room leaving Catherine alone in the room. Catherine smiled and began plotting the demise of Nancy McGrillows.


End file.
